Teemo and Tristana go to McDonald's
by DankMemezMeltSteelBeams
Summary: That's all that happens. I promise.


One day, Teemo and Tristana walked into their local McDonald's. "What are you hungry for, Teemo?" Tristana asked, smiling at her fellow yordle friend. Teemo wanted a piece of that fine rocket booty, but he refrained. He scratched his head, "Geez, I don't know! Let's ask the cashier what's good."

Tristana rocket-jumped to the front of the line, causing all the customers who were waiting their turn to combust and die. "Hiya!" Tristana shouted gleefully to the cashier. "Do you have any specials?" The blue-haired busty cashier, Sona, opened her mouth as if to speak, then closed it with sadness. She simply nodded and pointed to the menu which was displaying a new special. 'McFish Stix. Fresh from the Rift!' Tristana scratched her pubes in deep thought. "Hmmm, do you want to try these, Teemo?" Teemo nodded. "Sure. I love trying new things." Tristana gave Sona the money to pay. Sona positioned her arms in front of herself as to open the cash register but instead lifted her massive breasts and smashed them on the machine with an erupting thud. The cash register swung open with a load ding, her DD breasts suffocating the buttons. Teemo blushed, wishing that the lucky cash register was his throbbing mushroom, leaving him with a massive Bona.

Tristana and Teemo seated themselves as they waited for their food. They couldn't help but overhear officer Vi and Caitlyn discussing recent cases in the adjacent booth. "Any updates up the sting operation?" Caitlyn inquired. "We've been on the lookout for Ezreal" Vi replied, "He completely took the bait and went over to Zoe's house after an online chat. He revealed everything he had planned for that night. Chris Hansen had him cornered, but that wriggly worm E'd out of the building and is now at large." Caitlyn's eyes widened. "Woah that's crazy!" she exclaimed, "It would take a real idiot to mistake Zoe for an underage girl, she's thousands of years old for christ's sake!" Vi shrugged. "She's the perfect anti-jailbait. Anyway, any updates on the missing person's report?." Caitlyn shook her head. "There's no leads on Fizz's whereabouts. Poor thing's been missing for weeks.

By now, Tristana had gotten their food. Teemo shed a tear, hoping that his fishy friend was okay wherever he was. He took a big bite of his McFish Stix.

Tristana ate her food but remained unusually quiet. This was out of character as she always had something to say no matter what she was doing. "What's wrong, Tristana?" Teemo said. Tristana put down her food and leaned back, her eyes pointing upwards as she let out a deep sigh. "I'm fine, don't worry about it." she said. Taking the bait, Teemo responded, "You're not your usual cheery self, somethings on your mind." Tristana shook her head, "Fine, fine, I'll say it, alright? I've been feeling… unstimulated as of late." Teemo looked shocked but blushed, letting his mind jump to the sexual implications of her reply. "W-w-what do you mean… stimulated…" Teemo stammered, fishing for the response he wanted to hear. "Well…" Tristana, trailed, "They nerfed Needlessly Large Rod again and that item is very special for my… Zz'Rot Portal." Teemo felt his erection returning. This was much more enticing than the cash register smotherfest that had occurred earlier. "It's not fair!" Shouted Tristana as she pounded both of her fists on the table. "All I want is a needlessly large rod on the battlefield, is that too much to ask?! I need a way to pleasure myself when the going gets rough. I'm not a kinky enough skank to sink into an Infinity Edge like those other slut-bag ADCs." Teemo mourned for his friend, he also mourned for his sex life which, at this moment, was down to using health potion bottles as sex toys. After all, anything becomes a fuck-hole with a little bit of saliva. Teemo mustered up the little courage in his soyboy regime to say "I could provide you with that pleasure" in a near-whisper.

Tristana's ears shot up as she looked at Teemo. "Are you serious?" Tristana said, "I never knew you thought about me in THAT way…" Teemo almost felt abandoned by her ignorance as he reminisced on all the times he blew his load thinking of Tristana. Mmm...he loved the time at the beach where he made a Tristana sand castle and pounded it to dust in front of a bunch of screaming children. Or the time where he collected samples of her booty-sweat when she was sleeping just to have potentially AIDS-ridden juice to have a good rubdown with. He longed for the infection of somebody much better than him, just to scratch his masochistic kinks.

"Teemo… I don't think you would be okay with the position of pleasuring me." Tristana paused, "I'm high maintenance and have a lot going on in my mind and in my body." Teemo felt close to the experience of a lifetime, so he pursued the thoughts throbbing through his second head. With complete submission, Teemo declared: "No matter how high your standards are, I will provide in full, even if it means dedicating my entire being to you."

Tristana was overcome by emotion from Teemo's pledge. Her legs started to shake as she felt a little tingle playing across her lower regions. "It's been a long time since someone was interested in me in THAT way… I've been so lonely." Tristana said, resting her hand a little too close to Teemo's crotch. Teemo nearly jumped out of his seat and felt an immense wave of warmth rush from his body. The light-hearted gaze from Tristana only escalated this feeling. "Please Teemo whatever you do, don't get a boner now…" Teemo thought to himself, "just do what she does and follow along…" Teemo placed his hand on Tristana's thigh and stared deep into her eyes, their bodies were so close together on the booth they were practically touching. It was at this moment Teemo caught something out of the corner of his eye. Something protruding from Tristana's pants, a large bulge protruded from her pelvic area. Tristana noticed Teemo's gaze and went stark red as she awkwardly tried to tuck her bulge against her right leg.

A brief silence halted their conversation. There was no talking except for faint screams coming from the kitchen.

"I can't fake it any longer." Tristana said taking her hand off Teemo's leg, "I lied about people not being attracted to me but this always comes up, this always gets in the way of my love and ruins it! Tristana grabbed her groin roughly and shook her head. "Goddamn it all! Nobody wants a tranny like me."

Teemo became Preemo.

"Do you remember what I told you earlier?" Teemo said, with a sly smile on his face, "I will submit to you no matter what, whatever your standards are, I will fulfill them." he cupped Tristana's extrusion in his hand and gave a gentile rub. "I want to see them in action."

"Oh Teemo~" Tristana moaned, working her hand onto Teemo's yordlehood, returning the favor.

"I guess I can can you TrisTRANNA now!" Teemo said, trying to lighten the mood.

Tristana's eyes flared up as her genital massage immediately turned into sadistic torture, pulling and contorting his sack in directions it shouldn't go. Her other hand cupped Teemo's neck bringing his breathing to a weak gasp as she throttled his neck. "Teemo… " Tristana growled, "if you ever say anything like that ever fucking again, I will cram my cock so hard down your throat that you'll choke to death on my 10 inch shit stabber, understand?!"

"Anything for you m-master!" Teemo choked. Tristana laughed playfully and loosened her grip. She/he/it was really embarrassed by her/his/its sudden outburst. "Aww, you don't have to go that far for me sweetie, I would never do anything to hurt you TOO much." and gave out a laugh like a diseased patient in a hospital. Teemo, blinded his lust and masochism, didn't acknowledge this warning sign as a threat and pressed further into fantasy. He liked being Tristana's little bitch.

"Is there anything this disgusting little shitstain can do to pleasure you?" Teemo said putting himself on the filthy floor and looking up at Tristana.

"Teemo, you don't have to go that far!" Tristana said nervously, "I got my ticks but I feel guilty about all of this." Tristana was clearly enjoying this more than she was letting on, she just didn't want to admit it.

"Welllll…" Teemo smiled, egging on her sadism, "You got your ticks AND your dicks!" Tristana's eyes twitched and she looked down at Teemo, now with supreme authority. "You said you're a little shitstain?" Tristana teased, "You know the saying 'You are what you eat?' Well now you're gonna own up to it!"

Tristana pulled down her shorts and flicked off her shirt leaving no room to tease. She was going commando this whole time so Teemo was presented with the full Tristana. Her massive breasts complimented her throbbing cock all too well. Her balls were as full of sperm as her titties were full of milk. But that wasn't Teemo's job right now, he couldn't focus on the finer arts of the tranny physique. He was the scrubber and Tristana's asshole was the filthy toilet, that was his only concern. Tristana notices Teemo's longing and turned around.

The round ass.

The perfect ass.

The Holocaust.

Tristana's ass.

Tristana's. FILTHY. Ass.

Tristana overcame her anger and was back to her cutesy self again. "Uh Teemo, you don't have to do this if you don't want to… I haven't... wiped in a while…" Tristana blushed. Her embarrassment only fueled Teemo's sexual desires even further. It was an all you can eat feast on Tristana's asshole and Teemo came hungry. He plunged his face into Tristana's ass, working his tongue in slowly to savor the flavor.

"Hahaha, it tickles so good, do it more!" Tristana giggled uncontrollable. Teemo, even with his face buried in Tristana's chocolate starfish, could feel her body shaking. Teemo began to pick up speed, after all he was the swift scout. From this point forward Teemo deemed himself the swift rim.

Tristana was right, there was definitely a lot to be cleaned back there, but Teemo didn't mind. In all honesty, Teemo just wished that Tristana would shit all over his face but that would be rude in a restaurant environment.

Caitlyn and Vi couldn't just ignore the love-fest happening feet away. "Getting kind of hot in here, wouldn't you agree Vi?" Caitlyn smirked and removed her booty shorts. Tristana wasn't the only tranny on the rift. Vi removed her battle armor and laid on the table, positioning herself just like the shape of her name: her legs spread in a 'V' with a giant 'I.' "Hop on Cait, but I'm not sure how much you'll cool off." Caitlyn lowered herself onto Vi, pile-driving herself down.

Amidst the orgy of champions, the doors to the kitchen slowly creaked open. A blue hunk of flesh dragged itself out by one arm, completely missing its other limbs, leaving a bloody trail. The creature coughed up blood, looking up with only one eye and seeing a familiar face. "T-teemo? Please, it hurts so bad. Kill me….!"

Teemo turned towards what was left of Fizz. A brown sauce now coated Teemo's face, a sauce they don't sell at McDonalds.

"Fuck off, Fizz. I've wanted to bury myself neck deep in Tristana's musky taint longer than I've known you.

Dr. Mundo charged out of the kitchen and stuck his infected cleaver in the remains of Fizz's shoulder causing the poor creature to scream in burning agony.

"MUNDO MAKE MORE FISH FRY. SAY BYE FISHY" exclaimed Mundo as he dragged what remained of the screaming fish back into the kitchen.

"Geez, what's his problem?" Tristana said in annoyance. Teemo blushed shyly, knowing what he says next might change his life forever. "Ya, I always though the food here was fishy, but this is ridiculous!" Tristana's head snapped back, her eyes white and void of expression, a single streak of blood dripping down her nose. "I'm done playing games." She said calmly.

Teemo became Creamo.

"I-im sorry!" Teemo yipped in fear, but truthfully, his arousal leaped to new heights. Had he pushed Tristana too far? It didn't matter now. Tristana grabbed Teemo by the throat and choke-slammed him onto the ground. "You cleaned out my ass…" Tristana started, "Now it's time to clean out yours!" She spat in his face and flipped him over, head down, ass up. Teemo didn't know if he was in Heaven or Hell as Tristana ripped his pants down. Teemo tooted, then Tristana rammed her throbbing yordlehood down his yordlehole dry. "Oh sweet mother of SHROOMS!"" Teemo cried out as his inhibitor was broken and super minions flooded his ass.

Sona was basically getting paid to watch live porn. She was sitting on the counter with her legs spread and giant tits hanging out, furiously rubbing herself with one hand and massaging her puffy nipples with the other. She bit her bottom lip, eyes rolling in the back of her head as her body was racked with a powerful orgasm. She shuddered, sweet juices leaking from her cunt and milk flowing from her titties. The fluids poured out over the counter and onto the floor, mixing before spreading to Teemo who had his face almost buried into the floor as he was getting his ass destroyed by Tristana. Teemo felt something wet splash at his face. "OwO w-what's this?" Teemo stammered. His mouth opened and his tongue flicked to samples the sweet nectar. "Nfffff!" His taste-buds exploded, instantly cumming and desperately licking the floor to gather every last drop of Sona's love juice.

Teemo smirked, smacking his lips. He giggled."Wet floor?" more like "Wet whore!" A vein bulges in Tristana's head,giving Teemo a rough and painful thrust stretching his anus to 10-year-prison-sentence proportions. "What did I say about making jokes, you filthy, cum-licking bitch?!" said Tristana, showing her repressed testostrone, smacking Teemo's ass like a jiggly mushroom. Teemo yipped and came a little more. "S-sorry, sir! Rapid fire this slutty ass!"

Tristana grunted lower than Alistar could ever hope. "You want this ultimate, don't you Slutmo?" Teemo clucked like a chicken. "That's what I thought, good boy," Tristana praised. She grabbed both of Teemo's chunky mushrooms for leverage and truly began to breed the scout. Though the sounds of moaning and lovemaking in the restaurant were loud, the slap slap slap of Tristana's massive hanging ballsack hitting against Teemo's plump ass cut through them all. "I'm gonna feed your ass like it's an ADC." Teemo shuddered beneath her. Finally, he would accept Tristana's beautiful AIDS. "I-I'm ready!" Teemo cried out. "Good, because I just hit….6!" Tristana's buried herself to the hilt, unleashing her Buster Shot directly into Teemo's colon.

Tristana's blast was so powerful, it knocked Teemo through the air until he hit a wall to the bathroom, destroying it. A blond head poked out of a bathroom stall. It was a sweaty-faced Ezreal. "What the fuck, I'm busy here!" He screamed. A young girl's voice could be heard, "S-should I stop?" Ezreal bitch-slapped her. "Don't stop until I give your face my Trueshot Barrage, Annie." Caitlyn and Vi's fuck-sesh was nearing its end too. Caitlyn noticed the problem in the bathroom. "Oh no you don't you twisted fuck. Justice will be served!" Caitlyn raised her gun, aimed, and ulted Ezreal. His brains exploded JFK-style. The bullet ricocheted and hit the enemy nexus, ending the game.

gg plz report teemo


End file.
